scratchin' and survivin'

this past weekend, i went over to a friend's house to "pick something up." when i got there, it was late in the afternoon, a little after 3 pm if you will (and you will). so i go up to the door and first of all, i haven't been over to his house in probably a good 8 or so months so i was a bit disoriented and to top it all off, i was hungover to the 3rd degree. no, seriously, i could barely remember driving home the night before and i didn't get out of bed until about 2:15 in the p.m. back to the lecture at hand, i get to his house. we'll call him Chester from this moment on. i knock on the door, hoping i'm at the right place, some girl who i've never seen before answers and i'm all, "is Chester home?" and she's all, "yea, he's fixing his hair, come on in." so i go in and sit down on a couch, she stands in front of another couch and then she introduces herself, we'll call her Sally. we have light, awkward chit chat, blaa, blaa. during our chatting exchange, she tells me that she hasn't had a drink in 2 weeks and i'm all congratulating her, probably still stinkin like jagermeister. she even breaks it down and makes me think for a second: she said that in the last 16 years she probably hasn't gone 2 weeks without drinking EVER. i wonder, am i the same? then i put the thought out of my head because who are we fooling, 16 years ago, i was like 10. shut up. anyhoo. i get my "stuff," Chester and i head out (WITH HIS 6 WEEK OLD PIT BULL, OTIS, WHO IS THE CUTEST PUPPY I'VE EVER SEEN AND OHMEGEE I WANT TO EAT THAT BABY) to target and petsmart, she goes her separate ways. once we're in chippy, i ask Chester, "what's up with Sally?" he says, "don't even get me started jen. she came over about 20 minutes before you did, plunked down on the couch and said she had a half hour to pick up her kids and then asked if i minded if she smoked her leftover CRACK ROCK from the weekend." so i guess like a few minutes before i arrived, she was hitting the crack pipe all serious and shit and then i was giving her props for not drinking? my final thoughts?

fucking white people are nuts.

for serious, how can you in any shape think that it's a milestone to not drink, but to replace it with crack? and then he went on to say that she says it's her "weekend thing" since she's not drinking. but who saves a rock for sunday? i mean, isn't that weird? i've never done crack - believe it or not - but from what i've heard, that shit can't be put on layaway. even for the next day. and even if that is possible, who picks their kids up after pullin' on the pipe o' crack? i guess 30something lesbians who live with their folks like Sally, that's who.

in other news:

* ! last night at work, the parking lot attendant and i took it further. while sitting in my truck THINKING ABOUT THINGS AND TALKING AND SMOKING CIGARETTES, i did NOT armor all my truck cause i'm cool and shit, fyi. but he put in a bone, thugs & harmony CD in (now do you see why i love him guys?) and is SINGING ALONG WITH THIS SHIT AND I'M LOSING MY MIND CAUSE NOTHING IS MORE HYSTERICAL THAN SINGING ALONG W/ BONE. oh yea, the farther part. he's looking through my cds and while he's going through that, i ask him if he's got my cd (he was supposed to burn some hot shit that i can't remember) and he says that he doesn't but he will. and then he asked me to burn some stuff for him. you guys, can you see how this guy if falling head over heels for me?

* i'm going to a NEW place to DRINK tomorrow night. this is only exciting because i generally have been going to the same 2 places since the closing of my precious.

* is it weird that i wouldn't mind owning a little george benson? i mean, come on, "on broadway," "give me the night," and more! that's some good shit.

* i went and replaced my broken word of mouf. it's like we're falling in love all over again! luda, will you be mine? with a line like that, i sincerely doubt it.

* i still haven't gotten that new order that i asked for quite some time ago.

* i'm way overdue on a trip to chicago and i know this, but i'm scared of my shitty (ALWAYS) financial status. it's hard being po'.

* remember this place?

* it's just about time for lunch. i'm taking lisa to lunch cause i have this awesome coupon to one of our fave places to go that's NOT applebee's (we went there for frickin administrative professional's day or whatever the name for secretary's day is called now). it's my treat because as mentioned above, i'm a total baller. but seriously, buy 2 entrees & 2 drinks, get $5 off? it's a pretty sweet deal. to break shit down, it'll be less than $10 no matter what.

* i'm sure i'll have something amazing to report this afternoon since i basically refuse to get any kind of real work done.

hangin in a chow line

good REALITY things:

# michelle getting the BOOT (i will say that up until these last two pictures, she was appearing to be slightly photogenic, but seriously)
# BYE constantine (i don't "for real" watch american idol, but on tuesdays, when i'm hangin with the torrez familia, her sister is a FREAK for this shit so we have to watch and i've grown to loathe constantine for more than the simple fact that he just doesn't have it. 1. weakest chin ever. 2. hair tossing.

and onto more reality, but not in the tv sense. so the other day i did something i should never do based on how finicky i am. i ordered some shirt from target.com. i will say that target has some quick motherfucking turn around time. i ordered on monday, it arrived today (thursday). too bad the shirt doesn't appear to be very ME. i should have known better than to think that any form of LYCRA would look okay on me. fact of the matter is, the shirt is a little too HELLO BOOBS for me. i'm not feeling comfy unless i'm in like a long sleeved turtleneck or something. ham arms. i really had high hopes that this shirt would inspire me to buy in all of the colors offered as i'm wont to do w/ any kind of spring/summer look that i pretend is hot. oh yea, this is the shirt i speak of. so to make myself feel a bit better, i went ahead and ordered a shirt from oldnavy.com. we'll see how it all works out. i just feel like i shouldn't have such a hard time finding a shirt that can double as a work shirt AND a non work shirt. of course, that's a rarity in my life as i am the biggest jeans & t-shirt wearer whenever i'm not at work and naturally, there's no such things as jeans and/or t-shirts allowed on campus, unless a.) the dean's out of town and b.) you're a student.

oh yea! i got my new phone. here it is! sure, there's no camera on it, but that's what i have my huge ass HP for. speaking of, there are pictures of my actual TURDS on it that i've been saving up for cindy who requested them. i'm such a good friend. so the phone. it's pretty fun. some so best things about it are:

* kiersten's ring tone is just for her and it's Europe's Final Countdown - every time she calls me, i think of the bluths!

* susan's ring tone just for her style is Ludacris' Roll out - it's a good thing

the only downfall on my lovely sanyo is that i went to the sprint site and was all pumped up to get the 'good times' theme as my main ringer but it's the absolute WORST. so janky. i went in for the refund immediately. fucking instrumental, electronica style.

* maggie has this same phone and her display/banner/whathaveyou says "2 Legit" while mine says "2 quit" - i should be going on dates 2 times a day

i'm worried that this will get somehow mysteriously deleted cause i'm amazing when it comes to COMPUTEROGROPHY so this is it!