malarkey
hey pals. i know, it's been a bit since i last wrote some fascinating info so here i am, here i is. shit's been busy y'all! busy. bizee. make the music with your mouth biz. it's been retarded in a word. i've been working like a slave and it's funny, no one here makes time in their day to make sure i have the proper amount of time to update this, this glorious DIARY of mine. diary.
Dear John,
By the time you read this letter, I'll be gone.
i mean, where to begin? where to end? oysterfest 04? who really cares any longer about that? it stunk. it wasn't worth it. i hate white people. the end. okay, i don't HATE white people, but i wasn't feeling the white people that were at this "festival." no way. not 80% of them, that's fer sure. i'm cushioning it, i totally am. my weekend sucked big fat armadillo nuts. i didn't get to go out and spend money on beers & shots, i didn't get to flirt w/ boys, i didn't get to do much except go to target on sunday afternoon and have lunch at some Family Dining restaurant, O'Charley's. i had a craving for chain-restaurant style chicken quesadillas. the best part was that i managed to somehow spend under $25 at target. that's never happened. not in my adult life. that's what happens when i stick to the list. the list, the list, the list. i love lists. i have lists about lists.......no i don't.
anything else? i managed to read 2 books in the last week that a friend had me borrow. 'jemima j' and i can't remember the title of the other one. they're your typical 'girls guide to hunting....' style. i'm not mad at that. i'm just typing. i read them, i enjoyed them. i need to read more. i guess i need to read a "hard" book for my next one. it's time. i haven't challenged the ol' me in awhile. at least not in the form of a book. and while i'm challenging myself, it'd be nice if i could actually complete my 2003 taxes for the state and the feds. i'm almost there. i think that i'm getting the feeblest of peas back from our feds, the state of Missouri is anti-me so i'm so screwed. either that, or i didn't do my trial run of taxing it out right yesterday. let's hope that i lost my focus and fucked that shit up or else i'm FUCKED. right up the shithole. with no foreplay. not even a tender shove. nothing.
and i can't stop losing on my eBay bidding wars for a g.d. pink izod. short sleeves to be specific. with the alligator, not the weird newish logo. i can't win. it's getting to be a bit annoying. and how! no one says that. but i want that fucking shirt. i want it as bad as jack wants a shot of H, as bad as yoanna wants to be America's Next Top Model, as bad as i want to not owe the state of Missouri on my taxes. as bad as ever. even eBay is against me. it's not even real! argh. matey.
at least my eyebrows are BANGIN. went to my hot spot, Khin-Do where the employees don't speak but a lick of English and for a mere $10 (with a $2 tip) one can get their 'brows waxed and neatened up. this saturday took the longest. about 20 minutes TOTAL. maybe 15. it's insane. those vietnamese (?) really do it and do it well & with a major quickness. i'm not gonna lie when i say that i was totally nervous because i thought i was going to end up looking like i had drawn my shit on phyllis diller style, turns out, i was wrong. it's clean. the best they've done in my time going to this hot "salon." earn that extra scrilla! this is the most exciting thing i've got going on? for real?
i guess i could mention how my fake pretend boyfriend is now proposing some kind of a new situation for me. a living situation. he's asked me to move into this apartment that's one street down from my current abode with him. sure. it'll save me money, but then i won't be able to sing the song:
I Just Gotta Be Me
i haven't had a roommate in a coon's age and while it's a nice idea, i don't know if it's nice to have come to life. i'm a horrible roomie, truth be told. not in the "i don't clean up after myself" way, or even in the "i'm having parties 24/7" way. no, it's much worse. i can't stop cleaning up after myself and i hate parties. i'm so used to having things go "my way" that i don't know if i can have them all of sudden go "our way." do we have a way is my main concern? there's a lot of thinking on that one. i'm pretty sure that we're leaning towards a negative, but i'm no asshole, i'll think real hard about telling him no. it'd be nice to move out of my current apartment (no, i still love my place, i hate my neighbors below me who are totally nice but then they blast their tv and it's lame and i can mute my tv and find what they're watching by doing lip-reading) but i don't know if it'll be nice to move in with someone. not in a bad way. i just hate noise is all. i have a condition and i'm so aware of the condition that i don't see any kind of reason to change or even try to get help for it. i've made it this far, haven't i? well. don't answer that. i've scraped by. i've eked out a living?
****************************************************************
coffee rules my life. it seems like lately a big portion of my job is carting around decaf and regular. it's fun! actually, it's better than making nametags, or pretending to be busy concerning myself with a woman's right to choose. coffee is the new black. i'll be carting some more very soon. soonish. sooner. this is the delay of my lunch hour. coffee. coffee. coffee.
cream please!
and now, a haiku:
it's hard to be fit
when you're totally lazy
i'll do a sit up
Dear John,
By the time you read this letter, I'll be gone.
i mean, where to begin? where to end? oysterfest 04? who really cares any longer about that? it stunk. it wasn't worth it. i hate white people. the end. okay, i don't HATE white people, but i wasn't feeling the white people that were at this "festival." no way. not 80% of them, that's fer sure. i'm cushioning it, i totally am. my weekend sucked big fat armadillo nuts. i didn't get to go out and spend money on beers & shots, i didn't get to flirt w/ boys, i didn't get to do much except go to target on sunday afternoon and have lunch at some Family Dining restaurant, O'Charley's. i had a craving for chain-restaurant style chicken quesadillas. the best part was that i managed to somehow spend under $25 at target. that's never happened. not in my adult life. that's what happens when i stick to the list. the list, the list, the list. i love lists. i have lists about lists.......no i don't.
anything else? i managed to read 2 books in the last week that a friend had me borrow. 'jemima j' and i can't remember the title of the other one. they're your typical 'girls guide to hunting....' style. i'm not mad at that. i'm just typing. i read them, i enjoyed them. i need to read more. i guess i need to read a "hard" book for my next one. it's time. i haven't challenged the ol' me in awhile. at least not in the form of a book. and while i'm challenging myself, it'd be nice if i could actually complete my 2003 taxes for the state and the feds. i'm almost there. i think that i'm getting the feeblest of peas back from our feds, the state of Missouri is anti-me so i'm so screwed. either that, or i didn't do my trial run of taxing it out right yesterday. let's hope that i lost my focus and fucked that shit up or else i'm FUCKED. right up the shithole. with no foreplay. not even a tender shove. nothing.
and i can't stop losing on my eBay bidding wars for a g.d. pink izod. short sleeves to be specific. with the alligator, not the weird newish logo. i can't win. it's getting to be a bit annoying. and how! no one says that. but i want that fucking shirt. i want it as bad as jack wants a shot of H, as bad as yoanna wants to be America's Next Top Model, as bad as i want to not owe the state of Missouri on my taxes. as bad as ever. even eBay is against me. it's not even real! argh. matey.
at least my eyebrows are BANGIN. went to my hot spot, Khin-Do where the employees don't speak but a lick of English and for a mere $10 (with a $2 tip) one can get their 'brows waxed and neatened up. this saturday took the longest. about 20 minutes TOTAL. maybe 15. it's insane. those vietnamese (?) really do it and do it well & with a major quickness. i'm not gonna lie when i say that i was totally nervous because i thought i was going to end up looking like i had drawn my shit on phyllis diller style, turns out, i was wrong. it's clean. the best they've done in my time going to this hot "salon." earn that extra scrilla! this is the most exciting thing i've got going on? for real?
i guess i could mention how my fake pretend boyfriend is now proposing some kind of a new situation for me. a living situation. he's asked me to move into this apartment that's one street down from my current abode with him. sure. it'll save me money, but then i won't be able to sing the song:
I Just Gotta Be Me
i haven't had a roommate in a coon's age and while it's a nice idea, i don't know if it's nice to have come to life. i'm a horrible roomie, truth be told. not in the "i don't clean up after myself" way, or even in the "i'm having parties 24/7" way. no, it's much worse. i can't stop cleaning up after myself and i hate parties. i'm so used to having things go "my way" that i don't know if i can have them all of sudden go "our way." do we have a way is my main concern? there's a lot of thinking on that one. i'm pretty sure that we're leaning towards a negative, but i'm no asshole, i'll think real hard about telling him no. it'd be nice to move out of my current apartment (no, i still love my place, i hate my neighbors below me who are totally nice but then they blast their tv and it's lame and i can mute my tv and find what they're watching by doing lip-reading) but i don't know if it'll be nice to move in with someone. not in a bad way. i just hate noise is all. i have a condition and i'm so aware of the condition that i don't see any kind of reason to change or even try to get help for it. i've made it this far, haven't i? well. don't answer that. i've scraped by. i've eked out a living?
****************************************************************
coffee rules my life. it seems like lately a big portion of my job is carting around decaf and regular. it's fun! actually, it's better than making nametags, or pretending to be busy concerning myself with a woman's right to choose. coffee is the new black. i'll be carting some more very soon. soonish. sooner. this is the delay of my lunch hour. coffee. coffee. coffee.
cream please!
and now, a haiku:
it's hard to be fit
when you're totally lazy
i'll do a sit up
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