all i know how to do is point my toes & leap

so last night i found myself all wrapped up in this. are you fucking kidding me? and i'm as much to blame just for watching it alone. it was horrible. a nightmare. the scariest thing ever. evander holyfield, just stop. please. it hurts my eyes. i shouldn't even be MENTIONING this is the thing. so i won't. just know that this show is much like a lays or whatever it is that you can't just have one. i was literally cringing while watching - eyes glued to the screen.

i'd probably suck donald sutherland's cock for cable.

as it turns out, i won't have to ever taste what kiefer's dad's juices taste like because for a big chunk of next week i'll be not only off of work, i'll be watching cindy&matt's dogs while they drive out west for some wedding. i'll be there wednesday-sunday bitches. i'm talkin CENTRAL AIR and CABLE. i'm not going completely off on the enjoyment that i get from my window unit(s) and 8 or so channels, i'm just typing. those dogs better not fuck around. speaking of, i think that the MAILMAN will be getting "entertained" next week at some point. we talked on the phone earlier this morning and guys, it's pretty much a sealed deal. i'm so sure. what a fucking ho bag. i might as well since no one ever knows when their last piece of ass is gonna be. hi. i'm THAT guy. add in there a little "party for 3" with kier-lo and cole and you've got what could be a pretty decent time away from my apartment and the wonderful world of this place. not to mention all three of those fucking babies.

and then to keep up with the june madness, i'll be heading to chicago at the end of the month to see some friends and get wasted on the 4th of july. or something. a big chunk of my time will not be in the windy city, much to not really anybody's chagrin. a bunch of us dicks are going to indiana to stay in some house of some friends that has only gotten the best of reviews. if i were more into the concept of beaches, sand & sun, it'd probably be bomb ass. as it stands, i'm mostly excited to just see my friends. who found a train ticket for $42? i did! i did! that's roundtrip, asses. should be good times. it had damn well better be. what would be the best is if i could find a new pair of kicks during my brief stay in oprahland. we'll see. i should probably do some sort of shoe looking to see what's OUT THERE. or something.

and then come middle to end august, i'll be house/dog-sitting for my ol' pal rosen rosen. me and chopper together again. should be good times and more importantly, good money. that's what's so great about jews though, right?

what you don't realize, early hater, is that i'm so jew it hurts. what stands in the way of me being all the way jew? my baptism. smarts, don't it?

and i think during my week w/ chopper, marie&colin will be back in the loving arms that are me. those dicks should just give up life in the bronx and come back to the fucking magic that is the arch. and i ain't talkin' bout this arch, i'm talkin' bout this MOTHERFUCKING arch. regardless if i got the date right, those fools will be here. guys, i haven't seen mister in over a year. i'm ready!

what else? i don't know, i don't know, i don't know. i fucked something up at work that was fixable (of course) but it makes me want to claw my face off because it's getting to be raise giving time and boy oh boy, i could use the money guys! speaking of, i got a motherfucking loan so i can not have to be bothered with a few of my more obnoxious credit card debts. in three years, we are totally gonna party. mark my words.

so 2 of my favorite people are leaving one of my favorites. i don't have much to say about that except for a mighty harumph.

me and naomi campbell use the same loose powder!

and on that note, i am the weakest link. goodbye.